I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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