just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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