let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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