Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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