I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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