it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
