If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
