I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
