Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
