his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize