People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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