I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
