i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
