considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
