D3 body, D1 cock
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
