I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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