this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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