can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize