I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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