Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
