wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
