She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
