you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
