we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
