she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
