we made out on top of his cat.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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