it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
