I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
