Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
