Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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