yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
