I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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