Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
