nut hugger
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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