I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
