Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
