**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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