so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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