you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
