I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
