she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
soo... how was my night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
