I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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