I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
