Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize