he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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