OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So vagazzling was a success
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
