At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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