This girl is more easily done than said...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
