its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize