For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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