I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
