Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
