i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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