Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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