She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
