nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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