I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
