real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
