Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
