You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
