one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize