Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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