In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
