I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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