The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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