You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
