my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize