Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
