So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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