yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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