Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
