I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
