In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
